What is BDSM? Well before I answer that question, the perceptions of what BDSM is can vary, and to the uninitiated it can seem like a scary world and one that they can’t ever imagine getting involved in. Whilst something like Cock and Ball Torture (CBT) may confuse people into thinking ‘why would anyone be into that’, there is also much more popular, widely known and socially acceptable areas of BDSM like control and spanking.
The reality is that someone may like mild pain on their balls, and on the other hand someone may like spanking to a point that they bleed. BDSM is really a wide range of kinks that can be in various different extremes. It’s also not a subject to be scared of, people have been doing it for hundreds of years, so it’s nothing new, and it’s human nature to love certain aspects of BDSM.
Well, going back to my first question, what is BDSM? The term comes from a contraction of various different words with the first two being ‘bondage and discipline’. Bondage is the act of restraining someone for sexual gratification, and is the most commonly known part of the BDSM culture. Discipline is the more specific act of using bondage as a form of punishment, and links in with the rest of the term. The middle part is known for ‘dominance and submission’, which is clear in BDSM scenarios that at least one person has to be the dominant, and at least one person has to be the submissive. Finally, is the darker part of the topic, and that is sadism and masochism. These are the parts of BDSM which are most alien to people who have never touched on the subject, and most psychologically interesting. Sadism is the pleasure someone gets from inflicting pain, and masochism is the pleasure someone gets from receiving pain. Why someone gets pleasure from either of those things has long been debated, but there are plenty of people who derive huge amounts of joy from them.
One of the most extreme forms is torture, which is as bad as it sounds. That’s where someone’s pleasure from sexual pain is taken to the extremes, and generally involves physical bleeding of various sexual body parts. That’s where the fetish is taken to the edge of its limits, and leads the term to almost being too wide-ranging when it involves at one end of the spectrum torture, and on the other some simple tie and tease. Both can claim to come under the heading of BDSM, but are a million miles apart. There are other forms of masochism which aren’t so extreme, predicament bondage is where the submissive is placed into stressful positions for their body, and bound or tied into it, causing them to feel the pain of the position whilst being used by the dominant. Various implements can be used to enhance the experience, as often seen in medical play where various different contraptions are used to probe and clamp various body parts for their mutual pleasure, and also in erotic electrostimulation where body parts are literally electrocuted to varying degrees.
There are of course forms of sadism and masochism (S&M) that are much more appealing to a wider audience, but are still primarily about pain. The most famous example of this is of course spanking, which has been used as an actual punishment for centuries, but is finding itself more and more confined to the bedrooms and boudoirs of consenting adults. A lot of people love spanking, and a lot love being spanked. I think the reason for its popularity is that it’s the most acceptable form of S&M, and can be the gateway into deeper fantasies. This leads into deeper BDSM topics of the likes of control and flogging. Flogging is effectively spanking with an implement, be it a whip, paddle or cane etc., which generally means it’s more painful than regular spanking.
Less widely known masochism fetishes are the likes of wax play, paraphilic infantilism and tickle torture, which all cater to very specific needs, like the desire to be treated like a baby in paraphilic infantilism. There are plenty of options out there for someone who finds pleasure from pain, and equally for anyone who loves inflicting it.
Whilst BDSM can be as safe as you want to make it, for some, the pleasure from pain, dominance, submission or bondage just isn’t enough, there has to be some risk involved. That’s where edgeplay comes in, where your sexual preferences go to the limits and possibly beyond of what is seen as acceptable BDSM play. The most famous type of edgeplay for its bad press is asphyxiation, where you limit the amount of oxygen you receive. For obvious reasons, this cannot be advised, and has led to many accidental deaths, but the amount of people who find arousal from this is clear. Other forms of edgeplay include the use of fire, blood, torture and knife play to name a few, and extreme caution has to be made for any form of edgeplay.
If that has scared you, there is always the humble bondage that you can try. Most people’s route into a BDSM world is usually just the simple use of handcuffs or a blindfold. Bondage from there can be a step-by-step incremental process of finding out what you like, and what you don’t. The use of ball gags, anal beads, hoods, leashes for example can take you onto the next step, but BDSM is a world to be intrigued by, and could be the key to unlocking your most powerful orgasm.
What people love in the confines of their bedroom shouldn’t be anything to be embarrassed or scared about, BDSM can be a wonderful world of a sexual journey to finding your specific kink that might be your sexual nirvana. Whether that is being blindfolded, or bleeding in pain, the BDSM world is yours to explore, and it’s up to you how far you want to take it.
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